by Moneta Goldsmith

Editor’s note: This poem was originally published in YESYESYES Magazine.

Hey mountain!?
aaaaI see you looking all good up there reaching
aaaafor the sky, all trying to be infinite.
Hey mountain!?
aaaaI like the way you flirt with the clouds
aaaalike they owe you something
aaaaaaaa(mmm yeah, you a cock-tease, mountain).
Hey mountain!?
aaaaYou make me want to invent a 99 cent app
aaaathat lets me lop off the top of your head
aaaaso I can play etch-a-sketch with your vegetation.
aaaaYou make me want to sing Wander Vogel songs, mountain.
Hey mountain!?
aaaaYou look like a serious speech
aaaaI am afraid to interrupt.
aaaaYou look like a conversation
aaaaI meant to have like eight years ago
aaaaaaaa(you can be a pain in the ass, mountain).
aaaaI see you all smug and splendorous—
aaaatrying to make me feel small, mountain
aaaaaaaa(yeah, you a pretentious mountain).
Hey mountain!?
aaaaI see you curl up all into yourself
aaaawhen no one’s watching,
aaaayou look like sleeping dinosaurs, yo.
Hey mountain!?
aaaaYour summit looks like a halo
aaaain the shape of a Frisbee, I am not catching
aaaawhat you’re not throwing down
aaaaaaaa(you’re the firmament’s bitch, huh mountain?)
Hey mountain!?
aaaaI like the way you stare down
aaaathe measly limits of gravity—
aaaalike some kind of punctuation
aaaaaaaa(yeah, you a poetry-junky mountain).
Hey mountain!?
aaaaI want to open an art gallery in your deepest, darkest forest,
aaaaand decorate its walls with smart-phones,
aaaatheir screens all set to pictures of the Himalayas
aaaaand of Mt. Everest, and of other, more impressive mountains!?
Hey mountain!?
aaaaI love the way you let yourself go
aaaaaaaa(mmm yeah, you an eroding mountain).
aaaaYou make me want to erode too, mountain.
aaaaYou make me want to stand on your chest until you apologize, mountain
aaaaaaaa(until I prove you wrong).

*Interrobang: the form of punctuation that marries an exclamation point with a question mark, often used with some combination of mock-surprise and/or rhetorical misunderstanding.

*This is not to be confused with what happens when you interrupt someone while they are having sex with you to ask them a question – ‘Why are you having sex with me?’ for instance (though this usage is perhaps a more phonetically accurate definition of the term).

Moneta Goldsmith is a writer, teacher, and the author of two ‘poetry’ chapbooks, including the forthcoming They Haven’t Invented a Pill for This Feeling Yet. His writings can be found in such magazines as Sparkle & Blink and Gorilla Troop, among others.